New Best Buds

Richie and Simon lounging on the couch.

The brown tabby pictured above is my cat Simon. My husband rescued him and gave him to me for my birthday the first year we started dating. He's the sweetest, most timid cat ever. Most people who visit me don't even know he exists because he finds a quiet dark place to hide for the duration of the visit. When everyone leaves he comes out and hangs with me and his new best bud- Richie.

I LOVE the fact that my boys get along so well together. Richie really wants a cat of his own, but I think he's gotten the hint that it's probably not going to happen any time soon. So for now, he calls Simon "his cat." I'm totally cool with him hijacking my cat, after all our other cat isn't very friendly to much of anyone and her good mood can quickly turn into "get the hell away from me before I claw your face off!"

Richie ran over to me at the computer and said, "MOMMY, LOOK," in a very hushed but excited voice. There was his favorite furry critter curled up on the couch. "Simon came to rest next to me," he said. They spent another 45 minutes just resting next to each other on the couch. It was so cute.

My guy loves his cat.

A Poop Mess

My husband alerts me that our daughter is awake and he hears noise coming from the room. It's my turn for bed time, and we've agreed that bed time includes if the kids get up or go to the bathroom, etc. This usually ends up stinking pretty bad for me because the kids inevitably resist sleep only when I am in charge of bed time.

I come into the house and hear the sounds and a whimper from the bed room, "Mommy. I'm hot." Meanwhile, my girl is in the bathroom, on the toilet, and there is poop all over the place. She tried to wipe herself and got it all over the toilet seat and hands. She tried to clean up and got it on the baby soap bottle. It was gross.

But, I remained calm and said it was OK. I told Lily not to touch anything, and cleaned her up first. They we cleaned the soap bottle. Then our hands. Then I cleaned the toilet seat. Then another run over Lily. All the while, "Mommy, I'm hot!" is repeated over and over again, just ever so loud as for me to hear, but not too long to be considered his normal volume.

"Rich. If you say 'Mommy, I'm hot' again I'm going to get upset. I've already told you to hold on a moment." He quieted and let me finish the clean-up job.

 Lily asked for jammies, even though every night that I do put them on her she tears them off. Richie asked for his jammies off, even though he wears them every night. Sometimes I think they are intentionally messing with me to see what kind of reaction they'll get out of me. The received and took off jammies and I calmly said good night, gave kisses, and walked back out the door.

Most nights lately I just avoid bed time all together because I know the kids are going to test me and I'm just not up for a long night after a long day. Today was a short day- I wasn't home from 9:00AM-5:00PM and Daddy was home with them all day. I got home and we made dinner. Lily showed me her obstacle course made out of wood blocks. "That's beautiful. I love it," I said. Sophia was lovey and affectionate. We went to swimming class and Lily and Richie did amazing. We came home and Daddy went to work. We ate some snacks, cleaned up the house together, and got ready for bed. Everything was just easy today.

Even with a poop mess at bed time.

Pediatric Nightmare

I am waiting in a pediatric office right now. No, none of my kids are sick. I'm helping out a friend who is without a car but with a sick child.

 The office is the most cramped little thing I've ever seen and the wait is horrendous. Her appointment was at 2:45, yet here we are- still waiting. There is a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, with her mother and two siblings. She is repeatedly dragging a huge play table across the floor. My head hurts.
"You need to calm down!" Her mother repeats this over and over.
I really just want to walk over and say, "If you continue to drag this table across the floor you're going to go to timeout."
 But I won't.
1) This girl probably has no idea what timeout is,
2) Her Mom would probably kick my butt.

Back to School

Sophia and I walking around the FAU campus.

I decided to sign up for summer courses at the university. If you don't know me that well, or haven't witnessed the anxiety-induced breakdowns I have while taking courses, working (from home), and child-rearing, you're in for a big surprise (and probably not a very fun one!).

I changed my major, again. But this time is the last time, I swear. In fact, the sole reason I changed my major was to get the heck out of school. With ambitions like mine, you'd think I'd be done by now. I was accepted into a collegiate high school program starting in eleventh grade. I completed my associate's degree at the same time I completed my high school diploma. I was on the fast track to completing college (as least the undergraduate part of it) before my twentieth birthday.

Fast-forward seven years later, and here I am, still working to complete my bachelor's degree. I've changed my major countless times, and finally settled on Education. I like children so I thought it would be a good fit. As education students, we end up paying more to the college than other majors- we have to pay for LiveText so they can track our every submission of "critical assignments" (assignments that is not passed with a C or better fail you in the class), we pay for clearances to donate more of our time "observing" classrooms across the county. As a parent, I am expected to pay for childcare not only during class times, but during these extra "observation hours."

The nail that sealed the coffin in the death of my education major was this: Over two years, tuition prices have increased over 100% without any additional advantage to students at the university. In all actuality, this increase comes with cuts to services and support to students. To complete a teaching degree, students are required to pay the school nearly $800 to work full time in a classroom setting for three months. Add to that expense the cost of child care for three children for three months and you can gather why a teaching degree is simply not a feasible option for a lady like me.

So, I called an adviser at the College of Arts and Letters and inquired about an Arts and Humanities degree. You see, I have enough credits to have graduated long ago, but just not all in one study area. I had 8 classes plus student teaching left to my degree and I wanted a way to finish faster.
"Do you have your heart set on the Arts and Letters degree, because we also have an Interdisciplinary..."
"I have my heart set on whatever will get me finished fastest."

So, after a few minutes on the phone, developing a study plan, I walked away with a major in Interdisciplinary studies and just five more classes to go. I'm ecstatic. Still beating myself up a little bit because if I had done this last year, I'd have been in the same boat. I decided I'd tackle two courses over the next month and leave myself only three classes to go after that.

I was wait-listed for one class (and quickly un-wait-listed) and have to travel to the farther campus for the other. I'm really optimistic that I'll do well, but I know my husband will be the one who ends up suffering. Suffering the nights of me crying, "I'm going to fail this test. I don't have enough time and energy. It's all just too much!" Suffering the cramming sessions where I yell, "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT MY EDUCATION!" Suffering the hot mess that is me taking courses.

I'm going to tell you a secret that I often deny: I'm a perfectionist. If something isn't just quite right, especially with school, I go bananas. I cry and the world ends and I blame myself for not being smart enough. I totally get where my kid gets it from. I'm trying to be better and actually have completed two assignments before the class session's even started. Go me!

 Now to find child care to go along with these classes. Any well-meaning relatives who would like to offer up their homes for a few hours twice a week would be greatly appreciated!

He Floated

We've been pretty busy over here, even though it's supposed to be summer and therefore vacation time, right? We've got Ms. Grace's class on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, soccer once a week, and swimming lessons 4 days a week (plus all the birthday parties and various celebrations that fall in the month of June).

Yesterday had to have been the best day of the week for me (so far). I had the privilege of taking Lily to her soccer class, since Grandad was stuck working. For Lily, soccer is at the same location as swimming and ends with just 15 minutes to spare until swimming begins. So we dressed in our bathing suits, then layered our normal clothes on top.

Not to brag, and maybe there's a bit of bias here, but Lily is by far the best kid in her soccer class. She's a totally different kid at soccer than she is, say, at home. She does exactly what she's told and listens intently. She's got some mega foot skills when it comes  to maneuvering the ball and she pretty much ignores other kids' indiscretions (like stealing her ball or just messing around when they should be listening). She's just an awesome little girl.

We got to the pool early, and Lily decided we should watch "the babies" class that finishes up right before our class starts. Lily loves babies, of every shape and size.

Soon Richie, Sophia, Daddy, and Grandma arrived and we got ready to get in the pool. Daddy's turn with Lily; my turn with Richie. They are both doing so much better than they were when we first started. No one cries anymore, they both willingly JUMP into the water, and it's just so much fun. Minus the fact that yesterday the pool was freezing from all the rain and the overcast windy weather didn't help much either.

Richie spends most of his time under the water these days- blowing bubbles, talking and listening to how funny his voice sounds, paddling up to see if he can catch a breath on his own. It's really just amazing. With a little help, Richie completed a difficult feat yesterday at the pool:

He floated.

All on his own. Every class the kids lay on their back and rest their heads on their parent's shoulder. We sing twinkle twinkle little star and  the kids immediately flop back over to be right-side up again. Right before the song ended, I gently moved away from Richie. For two whole seconds he was floating with no assistance. When he realized what he was doing, he immediately flipped over in delight so he could proudly tell me, "I DID IT! I DID IT! I FLOATED!"  We repeated the show for Daddy and for Grandma, and each time he was even more excited than the last. 

These are the moments when parenting is so rewarding. I felt every bit of the excitement he felt, and maybe a little bit more- knowing I was the one who taught him how and that I played a big part in lighting the fire in his eyes.

Parties all around

Today is my best friends baby shower. It's also a birthday party for the little girl who lives across the street. Our family this morning is a little hectic.

 Both of the big kids slept at my Aunt and Uncle's last night. They were really looking forward to it all day. This morning, with no big kids making a ruckus, Daddy, Sophia, and I managed to sleep in until 9:30AM! Normally, this would be amazing. This morning, not so much. I woke up to the big kids knocking at the door, realized what time it was and thought, "OH NO!" The birthday party started at 10:00AM. Sophia and Daddy weren't even awake yet, I had no idea where bathing suits were (it's a pool party at the local YMCA), and I hadn't wrapped the gift yet.

 Needless to say, we were in a huge rush this morning. Daddy took all three kids solo to the party (a bit late, but better late than never) so I can take a shower and get over to my friend's place to prepare for the baby shower. Richie and Lily were disappointed at first that I wouldn't be going, but when I assured them that they would get to attend another party with me after nap time they were quickly relieved.

Now I need to get in gear and get moving- it's going to be an eventful and a little bit stressful day for us.

My Birthday 2012

Birthday cake at my in-laws. I always let the kids help
blow out the candles.

It was my twenty-fifth birthday this time last week.  My loving husband organized a great birthday for me and the family. Dad even remembered to grab my camera so he could photograph the event. What a super guy!

Lily feeds Mommy with her chopsticks.

We went to church that morning and afterward met up with his parents and his brother and girlfriend at my favorite restaurant- Japan Inn.  It's a hibachi restaurant where they cook the food at the table in front of you- Richie and Lily had a great time enjoying the show. Sophia got a bit scared the first time some fire lit up on the stove, but settled pretty quickly and was happy the rest of the meal.

Usually, because of everyone's conflicting schedules, we celebrate my birthday sometimes weeks later- but this year it worked out perfectly that my birthday was on a Sunday and everyone was free. My husband got me a gift card for a massage (what a guy, I tell you!). My brother-in-law and his girlfriend got me a gift card to the movies (I roped them in for baby-sitting included, thanks guys!), and my in-laws got me a beautiful birdhouse for the backyard and some gift cards to go out and get myself some clothes.

A few more photos:

By the look of Sophia's face, she really
enjoyed the chocolate ice cream cake.

Me and my girls enjoying some Hibachi.

What Big Brother Said

You know your kid is going to be all kinds of successful in the corporate world when at age four he's already manipulating a three-year-old.

Friday nights one of the big kids spend the night at my in-laws. Usually, they switch off, Rich one week and Lily the next and it goes on and on forever unless one family (ours or theirs) is out of town. Richie went last week, so this week was Lily's turn. Whenever it's her turn to spend some quality time with Grandma or Grandad she routinely lays her cards on the table and says, "But I'm not feeling well." We don't want to push her to go for a few reasons: 1) she might actually not be feeling well 2) we want her to go because she wants to, not because she is forced to.

So, yesterday I said to Lily pretty early on in the day, "Lily, it's your turn to spend the night at Grandma and Grandad's! How exciting!"  She replied with a smile, "Yeah!"  Almost immediately, Richie chimes in (with myself, his father, and his Aunt present), "No, Lily. You're not feeling well, remember? It's okay, you can stay home- I'll go."

Lily didn't protest her brother's decision one bit. She said, "Yeah, Mommy, I'm not feeling well. I can't go." I couldn't believe it. Her brother tried to steal her chance at alone time by convincing her she wasn't well enough for a sleepover. Of course, we didn't let him get away with it. Lily tried closer to go-time to stick with the "I'm not feeling well routine," but I made it a non-option. I had her help pick out her clothes for the day and the following morning, pick out her jammies, and a stuffed animal to take with her. Off we went before Richie reminded her that she wasn't feeling well enough to go.

When I told Grandma about what happened (where little ears couldn't hear, lest she remember her lines and demand on returning home), she mentioned how she recently was thinking the same thing. When Grandma comes to take kids to the library, Lily always say with a smile, "I'm not feeling well enough to go." She says it with a look that says, "I said  the right thing, didn't I?"

It makes me wonder just how long my little guy has been whispering in Lily's ear to get himself some extra alone time.

Graduation

Walking into the auditorium to receive
their "diplomas."

Tonight was Richie's preschool graduation. It was so cute! All the kids dressed in white polo shirts and Khaki shorts/skirts. They put these ridiculous hats on all the children, but still adorable. Our seats were pretty far up in the auditorium. We got there right on time (an hour before graduation started) and there were actually A LOT of seats closer up. I would have loved to sit in any one of the three empty rows, but I couldn't. Some woman saved those three entire rows for herself and absent family and friends right up front- and refused to let anyone else have any of the seats. I mean, Richie had a lot of people in attendance, too. But the majority of us were all there and ready to sit, we saved an entire row- but 75% of our people were already present and sitting.

I just found it absolutely absurd for one person to lay claim to so many seats, when lots of people who were actually there early would probably have liked to sit closer up to see their children perform. If it were any other occasion, I probably would have just sat there anyway, but I wasn't going to make a scene at my kid's preschool graduation. I wasn't going to be that Mom. But, man, I really wanted to be.

So we sat up higher and I could tell Richie was searching for me and Daddy when he came on stage. When he finally spotted me he just lit up and it was magical. He was so awesome and amazing and all of the other kids were really cute, too.

When Good Kids Do Bad Things (Review)

I had the opportunity to get an e-version of the book "When Good Kids Do Bad Things" by Katherine Gordy Levine. It's kind of a long read, with a few grammatical errors- but overall I think it could be really helpful to parents struggling through the teenage years. As the author points out in the introduction, you needn't read it in it's entirety. You can skip to sections that apply more to your particular situation, and if necessarily, skip the majority of the book and go to resources for professional help.

Although I'm a long way off (okay, only about 7 years) from the teenage years, I'm going to keep this book handy for when I get there. The author writes in detail about a phenomenon she coins "The Gotcha Wars." I feel like with my almost-five-year-old, I'm already suffering through these wars. My son is a master at arguing his point and invalidating yours. He really enjoys getting the "one up" on Mom and Dad. Thinking about it makes the teenage years seem daunting- after all, he's giving me a preview of what I've got to look forward to.

If you've got teen-aged children this could be a valuable resource for you- if for nothing else to give you some perspective, to let you know you're not alone, and to offer resources for professional help if your situation calls for it. Often, the suggestion is to merely wait it out- it's natural for kids to test boundaries and limits and try to figure out who they are- in other cases parental intervention is needed.

"But when it’s sensible to “do something,” I’ll have a full Chinese menu of suggestions. Try one idea from list A, and if it doesn’t work, choose something from list B. After all, even if your self-confidence about your parenting has been rocked a bit lately, you’re still the expert on what you can and can’t do, and you’re still the best judge of what might work with your youngster. I promise you a wide variety of options."

I'll be keeping this book handy in the upcoming years, when lord knows I'll need all the support I can get with my very opinionated bunch.

You can also check out Katherine Gordy's blog, Parents' Friend. She writes about all sorts of parenting topics, and you're sure to find it comforting, informational, and supportive.