Back to School

Sophia and I walking around the FAU campus.

I decided to sign up for summer courses at the university. If you don't know me that well, or haven't witnessed the anxiety-induced breakdowns I have while taking courses, working (from home), and child-rearing, you're in for a big surprise (and probably not a very fun one!).

I changed my major, again. But this time is the last time, I swear. In fact, the sole reason I changed my major was to get the heck out of school. With ambitions like mine, you'd think I'd be done by now. I was accepted into a collegiate high school program starting in eleventh grade. I completed my associate's degree at the same time I completed my high school diploma. I was on the fast track to completing college (as least the undergraduate part of it) before my twentieth birthday.

Fast-forward seven years later, and here I am, still working to complete my bachelor's degree. I've changed my major countless times, and finally settled on Education. I like children so I thought it would be a good fit. As education students, we end up paying more to the college than other majors- we have to pay for LiveText so they can track our every submission of "critical assignments" (assignments that is not passed with a C or better fail you in the class), we pay for clearances to donate more of our time "observing" classrooms across the county. As a parent, I am expected to pay for childcare not only during class times, but during these extra "observation hours."

The nail that sealed the coffin in the death of my education major was this: Over two years, tuition prices have increased over 100% without any additional advantage to students at the university. In all actuality, this increase comes with cuts to services and support to students. To complete a teaching degree, students are required to pay the school nearly $800 to work full time in a classroom setting for three months. Add to that expense the cost of child care for three children for three months and you can gather why a teaching degree is simply not a feasible option for a lady like me.

So, I called an adviser at the College of Arts and Letters and inquired about an Arts and Humanities degree. You see, I have enough credits to have graduated long ago, but just not all in one study area. I had 8 classes plus student teaching left to my degree and I wanted a way to finish faster.
"Do you have your heart set on the Arts and Letters degree, because we also have an Interdisciplinary..."
"I have my heart set on whatever will get me finished fastest."

So, after a few minutes on the phone, developing a study plan, I walked away with a major in Interdisciplinary studies and just five more classes to go. I'm ecstatic. Still beating myself up a little bit because if I had done this last year, I'd have been in the same boat. I decided I'd tackle two courses over the next month and leave myself only three classes to go after that.

I was wait-listed for one class (and quickly un-wait-listed) and have to travel to the farther campus for the other. I'm really optimistic that I'll do well, but I know my husband will be the one who ends up suffering. Suffering the nights of me crying, "I'm going to fail this test. I don't have enough time and energy. It's all just too much!" Suffering the cramming sessions where I yell, "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT MY EDUCATION!" Suffering the hot mess that is me taking courses.

I'm going to tell you a secret that I often deny: I'm a perfectionist. If something isn't just quite right, especially with school, I go bananas. I cry and the world ends and I blame myself for not being smart enough. I totally get where my kid gets it from. I'm trying to be better and actually have completed two assignments before the class session's even started. Go me!

 Now to find child care to go along with these classes. Any well-meaning relatives who would like to offer up their homes for a few hours twice a week would be greatly appreciated!