Pretending to Leave

I think I am supposed to be studying for a map test, but I'm not sure.

I worked pretty much all day today (from home). Lucky for me, my husband had absolutely nothing at all to do all day. I took the kids to my Moms Club meeting. We got there about 30 minutes late (damn, you, daylight savings!). I forgot to reset the clock on my stove and went by that time all morning, thinking I had plenty of time to get everything done and just went about my morning. Then I hopped on the computer for a second and realized that I was working an hour behind. OOPS!  We rushed and got the kids ready and ran out the door. I was supposed to bring a gift for another Mom's birthday and didn't want to be that lady again- you know, the one who says she'll do something and then just doesn't show up.

We got there with me looking like a hot mess as usual. Luckily most (if not all) the Moms understand that it's rough with three little ones and hopefully don't mind my tardiness (I swear I'm working on it!). So, I'm basically going to be doing the Newsletter for the group now, which is really cool. It doesn't seem too tough to do, something I could whip up with Publisher in a few minutes.

We came home and I immediately informed my husband, "I have to work now."  "What do you mean you have to work?"

Okay, I know I don't technically go anywhere when I work. But, I do work (you know, besides daily work of supervising, feeding, and raising three kids). I go out on my patio and get to work entering data on my laptop and am frequently interrupted by requests for milk or a snack or "I have to go to the bathroom!" All I can think is, "You do know your Dad is home, right?"  I get frustrated with my husband. I mean, can't you keep the kids away from me for five minutes?  Take them to the park, read a bunch of books, play make believe, do a song and dance for all I care- just let me get my work done!

After my first interruption, I calmed the waters of an upset sea of Lily. We all sat around the table and I said to my husband,
"Pretend I'm you and you're me. I'm going to work now. I won't be home anymore. You can't come and ask me for help. I can't, because I'm not here. Okay, good-bye everyone, I'm off to work!"
Lily quickly states, "You're just pretending, right Mama?"
I reply, "Yes, and you pretend, too. I'll see you later guys!"
Richie says, "She's just pretending, Lily, she's really going on the patio." We then all go on and on pretending that I'm leaving as I walk toward and out the patio door.  I forgot a piece of paper I needed, and came back in after about 15 seconds.
"Mommy's back! So soon!"
"I forgot something. I wouldn't be going to work if I didn't forget something," I replied (This is a phrase I repeat on a weekly basis whenever Richard forgets something before work, except replace the "I" with "Daddy" [and all following prounouns]).

Then I walked back out the patio door and was able to work for a couple of hours while everyone in the house kept on pretending I'd left and gone to an office somewhere. When I finally came back in, to give my husband a bathroom break, Richie looks at me with some much excitement in his eyes, "Mommy, how did you get back here so fast?"
I replied, "I teleported in."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because Daddy sent me a message through his satellite and I said, 'Beam me up!'" (Daddy's been watching a lot of Star Trek: Next Generation lately)


Playing pretend is sometimes the best way to get some time alone. No tears are shed, no screaming ensues, and I can get my work done.