Child Care Budget Cuts

MSNBC Reported yesterday on the wave of slashes to child care benefits to low income families. As a mother on the lower side of the income scale, this issue is kind of near and dear to my heart.  Although I really love staying at home with my kids and teaching them and watching them grow, I can't say it's the only reason I stay home.  

It's simply more practical, economically speaking, for me to stay home. Child care in Florida, even just part time is going to run anywhere from $120-$200 per week.  That's a minimum of $480 per month, for just ONE child.  Multiply that by three and it's obvious that it would make absolutely no sense for me to go to work and pay someone else to watch my children.  I mean, really, I would be taking a loss to work- I'd be working to pay for child care and still coming up short.  

Florida has this great program called VPK.  All four-year-olds in the state get free part-time preschool as long as they meet the birth date cutoff, regardless of income. Great. Wonderful. No really, I think it's awesome, but what do you do the four years leading up to that?  Certainly you can't leave your child home alone, and you can't afford child care, so you end up not working and living on public welfare, or leaving your kids with less than trustworthy characters who will take care of them for almost nothing. 

So, if you're against public welfare you want people to work and support themselves, right?  Well, there has got to be a little bit of give and  take in this. Low income families are always going to exist in a capitalist society- let's all just accept this. Not everyone can be upper middle class- and our government is surely not middle-class oriented. So, you don't want to feel like you're handing out something for free, you want people to work.  How can we help those who just aren't going to be able to get a higher paying job work to support their families and take care of their children at the same time?  Help with childcare. Give subsidies, vouchers, whatever. Trust me, most families do not want to be on food stamps and medicaid any longer than they have to be. People want to work. They want to take care of their family. They want to know when they leave for work their kids will be safe, and maybe even learn something.

"When parents cannot find affordable care, they often leave children with a neighbor or friend even if they don't trust them."

How many times I've turned on the television and seen some show like The Steve Wilkos Show and some mother is bawling her eyes out because someone beat her baby or molested her child and she gets torn to shreds for leaving her child with someone she didn't or shouldn't trust. It's easy to label Moms like these as neglectful or "bad," but you must consider their circumstances. How is a Mom able to make these decisions with limited choices. Do I feed my family this week, pay for the water, or pay for child care? 

With budget cuts amid every State's agenda, child care is an avenue that many people will not likely protest- especially taxpayers who don't have children, or can afford to pay for child care, or have children old enough for the public school system. It's a place government can save some money with minimal complainers. But it is my humble opinion that cuts like these are a detriment to our society. It forces people to stop working and rely even more heavily on public assistance. It drives parents to make less than wise decisions about who cares for their children. It perpetuates the poverty that many Americans are feeling even harder during these economic times. All the while people scream, "Pull yourself up from your bootstraps!" 

Government is a body by the people for the people, and we should be taking care of the least of our own- not demoralizing them.

Opting for a classic Christmas tree this year

Guest post written by Kathryn Morgan

In the years past I've gone with different kinds of theme Christmas trees, but I'm kind of over doing that. Instead, I want to opt for a classic Christmas tree from now on. I've collected some pretty good ornaments in the past few years and I want to start getting serious about a collection I'm going to keep for years.

I thought I would go online to get an idea for classic tree essentials that I couldn't stand leaving out and while I was doing that, I ran across some info on Illinois Sears Home Improvement. After I looked through it a little bit I decided to use them to change our windows. We're in desperate need of a window replacement, so I was glad about that.

I did find a really good classic Christmas tree idea that I really wanted to take advantage of. Instead of just using tinsel to decorate it, someone made some felt bunting that says "Happy Holidays" on it and I decided that I had to have that for myself. So I'm working on making some right now because that takes a little bit of work. But I think that it's definitely going to be worth it!

Back to the Woods

Grandma and Lily enjoying each other at Payne's Prairie.

Christmas day Lily and I drove up to Citra, FL with my two sisters to visit my Mom.  We had such a blast! Lily was  really happy to see Grandma and we took a day trip to Payne's Prairie to go on a nature walk. We didn't see any animals, as it was  relatively cold, but we had a lot of fun climbing on tree limbs, massive fallen trees, and logs.

And, just a few days later, we're on our way back up to drop off all three kids for a 4-day weekend with Grandma and a staycation back at home for Mommy and Daddy. See you soon, Mom!

Driving is Years Away, but I'm Planning Anyway

I know it's a long ways away, but when my kids are old enough to drive (only 11 more years until my oldest can get his learner's license!) I'd like them to be well prepared and equipped to pass the written test and subsequently the driving test.

Driving in South Florida can be dangerous even for the most experienced drivers. No one seems to understand how to work a four-way stop, use their turn signal, or understand what to do when approaching an intersections with blinking red or yellow lights. It can be kind of ridiculous.  So, even though my oldest is a mere four-years-old, I'm trying to teach him the rules of the road already.  You know, the basics- speed limit signs, pedestrian crossing, stop signs, all that good stuff.

I know I'm definitely going to one of those Moms drilling my kids on the dmv driver manual, and giving them quizzes before they go to take their written test. I found this really awesome website that offers study guides, cheat sheets, and practice tests at a nominal fee.  They even guarantee that you pass the written test on the first try (and since they've been around since 2008, I'm guessing they wouldn't be in business if they weren't successful)!  As a stay-at-home-mom in a one-income household, this means a lot more than my child won't have to make another appointment and take another test. It means less money! It means I won't have to spend money on gas to drive back to the DMV or take time out of my busy schedule with three kids and their various activities.

The best thing about this website, and their awesome study aides is that they tailor their materials to the specific state in which  you'll be taking your test.  And you know what, if your kids (or you!) don't pass the written test the first time they'll refund your money, so it's really a no-risk endeavor. You can download the guides you've purchased instantly and begin using them, buy the cheat sheet and practice test as a bundle, or just one- whichever suits your needs. I'm always on the look-out for awesome study guides and learning materials for my kids (at any age or point in their lives), so if you find anything like this dmv drivers manual, let me know!

Disney in December

Our annual "O" picture at the hotel.

Every year in August we go to the Magic Kingdom with my in-laws, while my father-in-law is in Orlando on business.  The past couple of years the lot of us have made a second December Disney trip as well.

We had a blast! The weather was beautiful this year. Not a drop of rain, not a cloud in the sky. We stay at Pop Century (or as I repeatedly call it every year, Pop Culture), and in the front of the hotel lobby they have a few big monuments depicting different years. Every year I take a photograph of Richard in the kids in the "O," which is actually a zero.  The kids love playing in it and I thought it'd make for a nice tradition.  I got a slew of pictures this year: ones with funny faces, attempts at decent serious photos, one with me in it, and even one with all of us and Richard's parents.

We got in late Friday night and had some fun in the hotel rooms (we get an adjoining room with Richard's parents) and probably got everyone to bed by 1:30AM. We woke up at a decent hour, ate breakfast, and got on the bus to the park.  Richie was super excited and said, "I'm going to have so much fun when I get off this bus!"  And we did.

Richie showing Uncle Joe how to get to the race cars.

We made a quick visit with the Princesses first, and then headed straight to Dumbo, which is usually our first stop. Then we took a family ride on the carousel- even Grandad got on a horse! We went on Small World, and then went to complete our "Fast Pass" for Winnie the Pooh. After that, Uncle Joe and Aunt Lauren met us at the park and we headed to get some lunch. Richie got his map out to study his next moves in the park with Uncle Joe while we waited for lunch. It was seriously the cutest thing ever. He was pointing to areas and rides he needed to go on next and was all over the map. It was so cute.

Family carousel picture.

I took Lily back to the hotel for an afternoon nap- since after all she's still only two and literally JUST got released from the hospital, you can read about that here. She slept until nearly 6:00PM, when I woke her up. Boy, was she unhappy that I did that. So unhappy, she stated she had no intention of returning to Disney World and didn't give a hoot about the light parade. All the way on the bus she complained. All the way through the entrance to the park she continued.

When we hit Main Street she says, "I smell popcorn, Mommy."  "Would you like some?" "Oh, yea!"  Popcorn solved any hard feelings for being awoken from her slumber. We met Uncle Joe, Aunt Lauren, Daddy, Richie, Sophia, Grandma, and Grandad near Thunder Mountain.  I went on Splash Mountain with my brother-in-law and future sister-in-law (only a 5 minute stand-by!) and oh goodness did I look insane--literally--in the picture the ride took of us. After that, the big kids, Daddy, and I took the train back to Main Street while everyone else walked.

Disney wore out poor Richie before he
got a chance to see the light parade.

We met Grandma and Grandad where they were saving space in the designated parade area. The light parade was AWESOME!  This is the first year we tried to keep the kids up for the light parade. Richie, who was without nap, fell asleep waiting for it to start, and slept all the way through it. Sophia was awake for the parade and was torn between being mesmorized by the shining lights and wanting to lay her head on my shoulder and fall asleep. While Grandad was holding her, a little girl in front of us accidentally hit her in the head with a plastic toy.  At first, Sophia cried because of the shock/pain. That quickly turned to obvious anger as she searched for the culprit so she could dole out her revenge. Seriously. Angry baby faces are just hilarious and cute.

What was a little disturbing was the Dad's reaction to his little girl hitting Sophia. He told her she knows better than to do that _____, and offered for Sophia to hit her back because, "That's what we teach at our house."  It was an accident, these things happen with little kids, and I certainly don't teach my children an "eye for an eye" mentality.  The little girl apologized all on her own and that was enough.

Richie, career photo-bomber, refusing
to take a decent picture.

Uncle Danny and Ashley made it for the parade and were literally only 20-feet away from us, but we completely missed them! We caught up with them after and walked back to the buses together.

Sunday everyone was making their trek home, except us and Mom and Dad, so we headed over to Fort Wilderness to hang out and get some lunch before Uncle Joe, Aunt Lauren, Uncle Danny, and Ashley left.  We had fun at a little park, watched an artificial geyser explode, and then had some BBQ at the restaurant.

Richie went Sunday evening with Grandad and Daddy to see the fireworks, making up for missing the light parade. Us girls stayed at the hotel to relax and watch Toy Story.

We had such a blast with everyone, like we do every year. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for inviting us and making Disney so magical, special, and wonderful for the kids. (And for letting us go get dinner Saturday night by ourselves! We definitely couldn't eat a meal alone without you.)

The Farrells at the "O."

Back to the Ducks

Lily enjoying cake as salmonella poisoning
is secretly setting in. 

Lily got sick last Sunday evening after her nap, while celebrating Richard's birthday at his parents house.  She had a fever, awful stomach cramps, and diarrhea (TMI, too bad).  We went to the doctor's office Monday morning and  they sent us home on a liquid-only diet and  told us  to call in the morning. She was up all night going once an hour every hour to use the restroom and complain of stomach pains. We went back to the doctor's office first thing the next morning and were immediately admitted to the hospital. We then spent the rest of the week at said hospital, and it was just not fun. All her tests came back negative, and I left with no more information then when she arrived, except that she was dehydrated. This didn't help ease me at all- obviously the dehydration was a symptom of her illness, not the cause.

So, the official diagnosis for Lily's illness is salmonella poisoning:

THIS IS WHY I SAY DON'T FEED THE DUCKS. 

I got a call from the Health Department this morning, "Oh, they didn't tell you that was the diagnosis?"  Nope, they didn't.  Now Sophia is having diarrhea, and I'm having some digestive discomfort. OH YAY! The woman from the Health Department and I are on the same page that it is probably the ducks fault why my little girl got sick, and now probably all of my children will get sick, and oh, gee, thanks guys for feeding the ducks in my neighborhood so they come defecate on my front step and beg for food.

The thing with salmonella poisoning is that they don't want to give antibiotics unless it's very severe, because it will delay recovery. So basically, I've been instructed to wash hands (hello, thanks!).  I'm praying I don't get ill as well, as I don't have health insurance.

Bulk Hunting

So, is it weird to take things from other people's trash at the curb?  On the one hand, I feel like there's a stigma. On the other hand, some people throw away perfectly good furniture that I could use. I got a perfectly good slide for the kids a few years ago from someone's bulk.  We put it out to bulk this week and some other family got a perfectly good slide.  I don't mind if someone comes and takes something from my bulk trash. In fact, I'd rather if someone could use and recycle is I'd prefer them do that.  So, then why do I feel so weird when I do it?

I've examined this because I actually went BULK HUNTING this week. I wanted to find some things that would be free, that I could fix up for a few dollars and have a nice gift for my kids.  I found that awesome table. I felt really nervous and anxious if in my own neighborhood, but in surrounding neighborhoods I was perfectly cool with it. I'd never see anyone there again, or at least not recognize them, so no cares.  I actually had a little bit of fun finding this amazing hardwood children's table with two chairs in someone's bulk trash. I'm going to sand and re-stain it and make it brand new for us.

Tell me: Is taking bulk from people's trash weird?

Cute Moment of the Week

Richie is amazed at his first experience of being covered
entirely by bubbles.  Wouldn't you be?

Richie is four-years-old now, and more than capable of bathing himself and being alone in the bathroom for a few minutes, while we get the girls in their jammies and ready for bed. When it's silent in there, I go check and make sure everything is O.K.  So, the other night, I heard no noises coming from the bathroom, and went to see what the trouble was (silence usually means trouble for young kids).  I opened the door and saw Richie sitting in the tub frozen, with his arms bent, completely covered in bubbles.  I just had to laugh so hard. Richie just had to laugh, too.  I whispered (Sophia was in bed), "Don't move.  I want to take a picture. I'm going to go get my camera, stay just like that."  That's exactly what he did. I must have taken about 15 photographs.  We had a good laugh and he showed me the process of being covered in bubbles.  Every night since we've had some good bubble fun.  Last night he showed me his bubble beard.  The joys of parenting!

Ducks Poop Where They Eat

As a child, I grew up with a canal in my backyard. We had a stationary dock and a floating dock.  These were nice things. I used to feed the ducks in the canal and never understood why my Dad would get so upset.  I mean, sure, he'd tell me why, "They'll come back and poop all over the dock!"  And, sure enough, they did. The dock was always decorated in white and green.  When I was a little kid, I didn't understand what they big deal was- it was just poop.

As an adult, I totally get it. It's gross. It harbors disease and bacteria and you don't want your kids playing in it, and you certainly don't want to have to keep cleaning it up every day.  Man, do I get it.  A family of ducks (those things cannot be called ducklings anymore, they're almost as big as the mama) has decided they will frequent my yard these days.  They used to live across the street, where an old man would feed them.  I understand, you like the ducks so you want to feed them. How cute, right?  Well now these adorable ducks are coming and crapping all over my front step. Literally right in front of my doorway, as if someone has secretly been feeding them while I sleep.

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T FEED THE DUCKS IN RESIDENTIAL AREAS:

• They poop on people's driveways, porches, and sidewalks
• They poop all over the beautiful boardwalk next to our neighborhood park (Raise your hand if you like your kids walking through poop every time they want to go play at the park!)
• They expect humans to feed them, diminishing their natural instinct to hunt for food
• They become unafraid of humans, and I've seen some awful reports of wild animal abuse by HUMANS
• They stick around- when they should be leaving for migration, they hang out instead because YOU are feeding them
• You interrupt the life cycle- birds are not supposed to eat bread (a human invention).  Just like human food is bad for your pets and can make them sick, it's also bad for the ducks!

I get it, lots of people love the ducks (I'm not hating on them!), but to feed ducks, especially in a residential area is a hazard to public health. It's just plain gross. Ducks poop where they eat, okay?  If you feel like you MUST feed the ducks, can't you do it away from our neighborhoods where children play?

What do you think, feeding the ducks OK or NO WAY?

Working Moms vs. Working Dads

From MSNBC.com

Working moms multitask way more than dads -- and hate it

I was reading the Health section on my MSNBC app for the iPhone and saw  the above mentioned article (follow the link).  Basically, it talks about data from 1999 to 2000 in urban and suburban areas.  When I read about the differences in the kinds of multi-tasking Moms and Dads do, it really struck home.  Dad's do get to spend more time multitasking with leisure and recreational activities than Moms do.  Yes, I do put in way more hours of housework than Richard, even when working the same amount of out of house hours. I was amazed at the fact that women typically multi-task 10 more hours per week than men.

The article does suggest getting Dads involved in more of the "mundane" part of housework and child care, which I guess is good.  But they fail to suggest that MOMS get more involved in the recreational activities of their children.  How much less stressed would Moms be if they were playing while multitasking, rather than doing the laundry and watching as three kids slowly but surely destroy everything that has just been folded.  It was surprising to find out that the amount of housework hours Dads put in hasn't really changed much since 1970, even though the amount of outside the home work women are expected to do has. 

What society has told me about the division of labor in the home:
MOMS
Laundry
Dishes
Dusting
Vacuuming
Sweeping
Diapers
Meals
Bath time
Bed time
Windows
Grocery Shopping
Child care

DADS
Cut the grass
Take the trash out

Do those lists seem fair to you, especially if both people are working?

This is an issue we talk about often at my house. How we can best divide chores (i.e. I am now cutting the grass, and Richard is responsible for the laundry).  Richard soon found that yes, doing laundry for five people takes an enormously larger amount of time than cutting the grass once a week.  So, now I'm helping with the laundry to supplement his work, so that our chores are more even between the two of us.  

I think the study also assumes and speculates too much.  No consideration for the parenting styles was taken. Maybe Moms are multitasking so much in the mundane because their children aren't capable of playing by themselves for a few hours (too young; too attached). Maybe Dads work the night shift and therefore aren't home for the "mundane" duties of parenting.  I know when Richie was born, Richard would work overnights a few days a week and late shifts the rest.  When would he have time to change a dirty diaper?  In his sleep?  While at work?  

I see this as both a societal and individual problem. We are raised expecting that certain genders will perform certain roles.  We grow up and realize (mostly women, who get the heavy end of the stick when it comes to household duties) that this doesn't really work for us. We're stressed or unhappy. The smart ones talk it out with their family and find something that works for everyone. Even better- they show their kids by example that no chore is above or below either gender.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

A snowman, Richie, and two trees.

How's this for news: As we speak, my oldest, Richie (4) is taking a nap as I type!  I can't remember that last time he took a nap, and he gave me absolutely no problem about it.  He tried to ask for a drink, so I said no, and walked away- and he just went to sleep!  Lily, on the other hand, played with her stuffed animals in bed, played with her kitchen in her room. Then she sneaked quietly into Richie's room, under his comforter at the foot of his bed, and read herself a story.

We really had a wonderful morning.  Today is Richard's birthday.  We had some friends over last night, so we let him sleep in all morning.  The kids and I woke up and ate breakfast. Then we made some styrafoam snowmen.  After that, we drew some more pictures for Daddy's birthday.  Then I set up their cards and pictures on the table in front of the couch (where Daddy fell asleep last night since our bed was occupied with big kids and me).  Then we got dressed and went to church. After church, we came home and I laid Sophia down for her nap (she fell asleep in the car) and the rest of us played outside for while.  We went inside for a quick lunch, and headed back outside.

As we were about to head back in, a roar of motorcycles starts coming down our street. A small parade of motorcyclists and one white car with Santa and the Mrs. drove right down our street. It was really neat.  They threw us some candy!  The kids each got to have a few little pieces and then we talked to our neighbor for a little while.  Finally, it was nap time. We read a book on the couch and I laid Lily down first, while Richie finished his drink.  Then I got Richie and read him his story in his room.  He told me he needed his Tigger and Mickey in case he got scared.  Well, we couldn't find Mickey so a huge Lion pillow substituted.  He was a-okay.  He tested me a little and asked for "just a tiny little sip of a drink."  I simply said no, and walked away- and my golly that kid went to sleep!  This is just huge news because he NEVER naps in the day time (mostly my fault because I just lack the manpower and consistency with all three to get them into nap time at the right hour).

I just looked over, and saw a birthday suited Lily run away as she caught my stare.  I guess she's going back to pretending she's napping.  HA!

Hopefully tonight, the kids will get to go play in some "snow."  In Davie, they're hosting an event where they will have two snow play areas (one for the younger kids and one for the older).  We've never been before so we'll see how it turns out.  If we aren't digging it, we'll just head out to Pembroke Pines and watch "Frosty the Snowman" on the side of a church building. It's really awesome, I promise.

Finally, the only way to end this entry:

Happy Birthday, Daddy! We love you so much!

DECEMBER!

It's December and I haven't made a post yet, so here's one.  Last night we went to "Light Up Cooper City," an annual event near City Hall just down the street from our house. We invited the Grandparents and the whole family walked down.  Although we've lived here for two years, this is the first time we went.  I didn't realize what a big to-do this whole thing was!  We got there just in time to see them "light everything up," which is when they turn on all the lights at once- it was pretty cool and the kids really enjoyed it.  Santa was there, but the line was so long we basically just hid the fact that he would be there at all from the kids (we're going to go see him at Outdoor World, where there is never ever a line).  We took the kids on a train ride (how cool is it that they had a train trolly?).  We looked at all the pretty lights, got some popcorn, and  then played some cute little games.  They had this "ice fishing" game, which I didn't really understand the point of.  Basically, you hold a fishing pole with a penguin attached to it, put it in a hole, and take it back out. Yay, you won!  We also played the "penguin toss" (toss a stuffed penguin into a hole), both the kids threw until they made one.  It was nice.  Then another game where you throw "snow balls" (styrafoam) and try to knock over three penguins.  Richie got two out of three and Lily just gave up instantly (she was getting tired).

The plan was to walk back to our house, get into our cars, and drive to Grandma and Grandad's for pizza.  Lily threw a tantrum and I ended up staying home with her and Sophia while Richard went over for the already ordered pizza.  Richie spent the night at Grandma and Grandad's and Lily went right to sleep.

Tomorrow is Daddy's birthday!  I'm having some of his friends over tonight to celebrate and the kids made him his birthday cards yesterday.  I think next week is when we're celebrating his birthday with his parents and family.  I'm all out of money this year, and so I have no idea what I can get for him that costs zero dollars. I'm just going to have to make him a nice dinner and I'm sure that will be good enough.